After searching for IKEA mice on Taobao, the upper class no longer dared to look directly at Totoro.

Perhaps you never dreamed that the cute chinchilla in the Hayao Miyazaki movies you watched when you were a child would turn out to be holding an IKEA toy mouse from behind when you grow up (not).

△My Neighbor Totoro: Actually, I It's a mouse | The real Totoro VS the Totoro in Hayao Miyazaki's movie

Every time I visit IKEA, I will always pass by a pile of stuffed toys piled up in a hill. The upper class once secretly laughed at me, why? Would anyone spend 19.9 to buy such a big plush toy?

I never expected that this little IKEA mouse, worth 19.9 yuan, would become an internet celebrity in the Totoro world.

△Sexy and provocative "Yes"

In the My Neighbor Totoro community, you can see all kinds of sexy photos of Totoro every day, and they are really sexy photos! Absolutely no headlines.

Perhaps it’s nature, or it may be that you have done too well in your enlightenment. In short, maybe when you casually put an IKEA mouse somewhere in your house one night, something “evil” happened.

They are not only used in many ways, but also in various postures.

Usage of the preliminary version

It is mainly suitable for chinchilla babies who have not yet opened their "emotion" intelligence.

Some chinchillas will use these IKEA mice as their own functional auxiliary tools such as footrests, neck pillows, pillows, mattresses, pillows, armrests, etc.

There are even chinchillas that use IKEA mice to grind their teeth. The poor stuffed little mouse has its beard worn away before it can fulfill its duties.

How to use the advanced version

In fact, it is just to fill the scene and make the Totoro family appear to be a big business.

Because chinchillas are social animals, living alone is lonely. At this time, buying a few IKEA mice can alleviate this feeling from the scene.

Hidden version usage

In short, it is a kind of "interesting prop", mainly used to help chinchillas in estrus vent the depression of lonely life and relieve maternal and fetal solo. unwilling.

The specific usage can only be discovered by the rat himself. Chinchillas with wisdom do not need to be taught. They are self-taught and can understand everything at once. Put it in its cage at night, and if the rat is still alive the next morning, it means it has not lost its rat nature.

△About Totoro and IKEA Mouse | Source: Totoro Bus

As for those who don’t have wisdom, you may need to spend more time and patiently enlighten, such as showing it to Totoro. Look at the colored pictures, or look at the mating videos of chinchillas and IKEA mice uploaded by other pet bloggers. Use more hints and inducements, as short as two or three days, or as late as one or two weeks, and you can always learn.

△The "mouse film" is real

Some chinchillas look serious and cute on the surface, but secretly they learn to drive faster than anyone else. The speed is 240, don’t even think about getting out of the car.

△Source: Station B@My son’s name is Xiaoyouzi

Some chinchillas are very celibate, peace&love, so anxious that their owners have to go to the pet hospital. Ask about your child's development.

"Our family has not responded after four months. Is this normal?"

"My family is over one year old and still can't masturbate. Should I take her to the hospital for examination?"

"My DD is the same. He is two years old. I give him a doll and he won't jerk me off!"

I have been a solo mother for more than 20 years without taking care. My chinchilla is 4 months old and can't do it. Lu just wanted to take her to the hospital for a checkup.

Is this really okay for you?

To see how outrageous the functional development of a plush doll can be, just look at the IKEA mouse.

When it comes to IKEA plush toys, you may have only heard the name of the enduring IKEA doll top 1 Internet celebrity Broai, that is, the 1-meter-long shark.

△One of IKEA’s most popular plush toys, Shark Broai

But in fact, open the search box of a certain treasure or certain degree, enter "Ancient Sigmas", "Ancient Sigre Tower", you will open a whole new world.

Gusigmoth and Gusiglerta, at first glance, these two names sound very much like some kind of independent designer from Iceland or Finland or a faculty member to be recruited by Hogwarts.

In fact, in the domestic Internet arena, they have a more popular and disenchanted "nickname" - IKEA mice.

When it comes to Internet celebrities, Gusigmoth, the IKEA mouse, is definitely more qualified to discuss than Broai, a big shark that has only been popular for 3 years.

Because as early as 11 years ago? , the IKEA mouse has already become famous on the Internet.

If you search for "My Neighbor Totoro" in various ancient forums, you will find that everyone will post in a secretive and excited tone, "Ahem, you all buy it for My Neighbor Totoro" Is it an IKEA mouse? Does that one really work?"

As for which one it is and what it is used for, although everyone is vague about it with "hehehehehe", everyone is confused. Weirdly understood.

In that era, folk guides such as "10 Ways to Use an IKEA Mouse (Girls' Version)" and "10 Ways to Use an IKEA Mouse (Boys' Version)" were even circulated in the world.

After all, buying a real chinchilla companion costs a lot of money, and an IKEA mouse only costs 20 yuan, and you can customize a sex companion for your chinchilla. It simply opens up a new world. The door to the world.

No one can say for sure, but it all happened quietly like this.

How did an IKEA mouse become Totoro’s blow-up doll? This thing seems outrageous at first glance, but if you compare it carefully, you will find that it cannot be more scientific.

What is the most important feature of an inflatable doll? We don’t know, and we haven’t used it. But judging from the poor imagination of the upper class and the vast ocean of knowledge on the Internet, the most important feature of inflatable dolls should be simulation.

For comparison, the first thing is the body shape. IKEA mice come in large and small sizes, with lengths ranging from 14cm to 23cm. Buy the large size for big chinchillas and the small size for small chinchillas. If you like, you can also buy one. Nest.

In addition to the optional body shapes, the colors are also very rich and diverse. IKEA mice come in three colors: black, white and gray, which perfectly match the color of the chinchilla's skin.

Whether it is in terms of body shape, skin or simulated softness, the IKEA mouse has unintentionally achieved the ultimate in another cross-border product demand.

Putting the real chinchilla and the fake mouse together means An Neng can tell whether I am male or female. One word, absolutely.

When the first pet owner discovered that his chinchilla was riding on a mouse and posted it to the world, all chinchillas were happy from now on, because their owners finally got To-it turns out that even such a small mouse has physiological needs!

If you search for any store selling IKEA mice on Taobao, you will see unanimous praise from chinchilla scrapers from all over the country, and most of them are regular customers.

Because some chinchillas are violent and may bite their own "toys", many people buy 5-10 at a time for fear that the toys will be out of stock or discontinued.

But having said that, chinchillas are not the only ones with physiological needs. Cats, dogs, rabbits, hamsters... are all inevitable.

Open the door to pet sex toys, and you will find that this world is really wonderful.

Not to mention Teddy, who can live with everything. In Teddy's world, even if there are no sex toys, they can make the whole world their sex toy.

Search for "pet venting" on Taobao, and you will find that no matter what kind of pet you are, you can always find a matching venting prop that achieves the ultimate in humanized care.

Not only can they be customized in size and color, but they can also make sounds. For example, the best-selling vent toy for dogs is actually a pig.

This is a touching cross-border love. Things that are impossible to practice biologically and ethically are explained to you in the world of sex toys.

Not only pigs, but also species such as lions, gray wolves, and dinosaurs that seem to have nothing to do with pets, sex products, and sleeping companion businesses.

Forget about animals, there are also crazy sellers who have launched a sex business for birds and reptiles, including geese, lizards, and caterpillars.

Most of these pet vent toys range from RMB 10 to RMB 99. They are basically practical products with high quality and low price, and you won’t feel bad if they are used up.

In addition to inflatable dolls, there are also many sophisticated tools.

For example, the kittens developed for female cats, but the use of this "fake penis" is very controversial, and it cannot really eliminate the trouble of female cats in estrus. Therefore, when the female cat is in estrus, it is best to The best way is to take her to be neutered.

Of course, the pet sex market is not all low-end products. There are also high-end products priced at more than 500 yuan.

A top-notch inflatable baby pet structure must be made of imported wool + stainless steel inner support bracket + food grade silicone + super strong suction cup, and it can also make a cry to give a certain amount of feedback, and can withstand it Had many in-depth exchanges.

Of course, in order to prevent your pet’s sex life from being too comfortable, it is best to take your pet to be neutered. This will save you the trouble with one click and prevent you from being upset when you see them being too happy when they are solo. chaos.